Comminication

I have started following (backwards) Nancy Dixon's blog conversation matters.  I'm still getting the using a reader to follow blogs, so my approach is a bit eccentric.  

Anyways, Nancy defines conversation as: the interaction that occurs when each person is actively working to understand the meaning the other is trying to convey.  

Food for thought there - not the act of exchanging information; not the act of soliciting information; but the act of understanding the meaning being conveyed.  The whole nature of conversation changes when the understanding of meaning becomes the core focus.

My world is filled with analytic people, and it seems that I am often being challenged - "what do you mean..."  And my response is often "listen to what I mean, not to what I am saying".  Obviously there is work to be done on both sides.  Active listening, clarity of expression, time to explore and not just listen but really hear.  Being present. None of which is easy as we fly from activity to activity and topic to topic.  Real conversation takes time, focus, and concentration.  Not things which are readily available in a multi-tasking world.

Searching for perfection

Last night we had dinner at the Bistro St. Jacques in Gatineau.  If this were a restaurant review, I would tell you that the service was kind and attentive (despite the fact that they had two large parties in); that the food (bison and duck) was excellent; that the wine was very nice...but this is not a restaurant review, and all I really want to talk about is the creme brule.

I love creme brulee, and so I often order it.  And I am often a bit disappointed because it is so thick.  Not that I am an expert, and know exactly how it should.  I only know how I like it to be, and that is not too thick.  We have practised at home, and the cut off seems to be 3 eggs to meet my standard of perfection.  Last night, the creme brulee was perfection.

Which made me think: to find the perfect anything, we need to look, try, compare, weigh.  The search is the process, and whether we find it or not is really not the point.  After all, how do you know when you really do find it? And what happens if you get bogged down in the search? Creme brulee for dessert every time I eat out.  What about the Sour Apple-Coconut Panna Cotta?  What about the plate of local cheeses?  What about the many other things on offer in the world?  Do we miss them because we focus on the perfection of one thing among all possible choices?  How do we define "good enough"?